Do You Even Know If you’re a Bully?
If you’re reading this article then you have likely done something that has you worried that you may be a bully. The thing with bullying is that you may not always realize that you’re doing it because you don’t necessarily intend to hurt anyone—at least not on purpose.
Sometime bullying is a way of trying to deal with your own stress and insecurity. It’s not a good way mind you, but sometimes people feel like that’s the only way. Sometimes a person feels insecure and thinks that by insulting someone else that they can make themselves feel better. Then there are also cases when someone feels that they are not being heard or treated with respect and uses intimidation to try to get the attention or respect that they’re craving. But what you need to know is that there is a big difference between fear and respect. You may be able to bully someone into fearing you, but this will never make them respect you or see you as anything more than a bully.
If you stop to think about the times that you have put someone down or threatened them you just may see what I mean. Think about how you were feeling when you insulted someone. Also stop for a second to think about why you did it in the first place. Another thing you should think about is where you got the idea that treating someone else badly would make you feel good. Often bullies are following the example that they received at home from their own parents. And then some do it because they’re angry about things in their life that they had no control over. Regardless of your reason, bullying someone is wrong and it needs to stop for your sake as well as the sake of the person you pick on.
Bullying may make you feel like you’re in control or are somehow powerful—even if only for a moment, but in the end it will backfire, make you feel terrible about yourself and possibly even get you into some serious trouble. These days bullying and school violence is taken more seriously than ever before and often results in criminal action that can seriously affect your future. So if you find yourself bullying others and using intimidation to try to make yourself feel better then you need to stop and find more productive ways to deal with what you’re going through. Make a point of putting yourself in the other person’s shoes the next time you find yourself on the verge of bullying someone. If that doesn’t stop you, then speak to someone who can help, such as a trusted adult like a parent or guidance counsellor.