What to do if YOUR Child is a Bully

You’ve heard about them: bullies. They give other children a hard time and you know that it is wrong for any child to bully another, no matter what the circumstance is. You have children of your own and you never want to hear that one of your children has been bullied by another child otherwise you will take swift action to make sure that the other child is punished. You will also undoubtedly take quick steps to make sure that your child is okay because you don’t want him or her to be permanently traumatized by bullying. But what if YOUR child is the bully? What if you are the parent of a child who has been bullying other children at school? What do you do if you learn that your child is a bully?
First of all, there is no question that your first thoughts are going to be that that’s been a mistake. No one wants to believe that their son or daughter is a bully, that’s just a fact of life. Why? Because the first thing parents think is to blame themselves. Many questions will rapid fire at your mind such as what you did wrong or how it happened or why you. This is a very natural reaction to learning that your child is a bully. Many parents often start out in a firm state of denial until evidence is presented to support the accusations and they are forced to deal with the reality.
Once it has been determined that your child is a bully, feelings of anger and frustration are sure to follow those of denial. You may feel that your child has violated your trust and you are certain to feel frustrated as well as embarrassed that your child has been victimizing another child by bullying them. Again, these feelings are natural and should be dealt with promptly because the main concern is your child’s bullying.
Chances are, when your child is discovered, you will be offered some suggestions and resources to help deal with the problem. It is possible that the bullying was an isolated incident but there is no such thing as being too safe in such cases. It is a good idea to think of your child and how best to help him or her rather than to punish them. Try to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with your child. Make sure that he or she has not been bullied themselves. Ask honest questions and pay close attention to the answers. You may discover that there are underlying factors that have caused your child to bully another.
Next, get help for your child. There may be school counseling or local resources available at no cost to you that will help your child to understand how wrong it is to bully others and to be bullied. Take advantage of the help that’s available so your child is no longer a bully.