Fighting fire with fire


School violence has taken a high rise in the last decade or so. There have been many instances reported in newspapers and on television of cases where students have gone berserk and on a shooting spree. How does this happen and why? How should we deal with it? Let’s take the first question.
Generally, students who are very violent or aggressive in their attitude come from homes where there is lot infighting among parents, alcohol or drug abuse. They generally come from areas where the families living near them indulge in abusive language. Children learn from what they see and hear. They vent out their anger on others and school is one such place. Having gone through hell and frustration, they spew venom on others because that is what they have seen and experienced. At times, some incident might trigger of a huge amount of aggression and the child might resort to very violent behaviour.
So coming to the next question, what should we do to deal with it? Should be pack them off to juvenile jails or rusticate them from school? Will that solve the problem? The answer is a big NO. How can the fire within them be extinguished by firing them? If they are further humiliated, tortured in jail or thrown out of school, they will feel further resentment towards society in general and grow up to be aggressive and violent individuals and resort to greater violence.
Rather than fighting fire with fire, we must shower love and most importantly respect on them for their little good acts such as doing their homework well, dressing up tidily or passing their exams. We should talk to them with respect and love as that is what they have been deprived of. It is possible that you will not see instantaneous results. But if you pursue to treat them with respect, encourage them to be good and positive and praise them in class for small achievements, they will respond sooner or later with the same love and respect.
If a student bullies other children, rather than taking him to the principal and reprimanding him, he should be given proper counselling and made to realise the negative aspects of his behaviour. They need to be told in a loving yet firm manner that such behaviour is not acceptable in society. If a student continues to be aggressive and rude, then his parents might have to be called and advised to place him in some rehabilitation centre for sometime where he can be taught positive things and ways and means to deal with his anger. There are counsellors and professionals in this field too who talk through with these children, understand their deeper emotions and make them realise the futility of their actions.
Fighting fire with fire will lead to more fire. When you put some trust in a student who is aggressive and violent and speak to him with love and respect, he will realise his inappropriate behaviour and will always remember you for the shower of love that you poured on him. It is like putting cold water on fire. He will see to it that he does not let you down and make you feel proud of him. If putting persons in jails and persecuting them could solve the problem, we would not see such a drastic rise in crimes all over the world. Even if the crimes are big and offenders need to be put in juvenile jails, they need to be reformed and transformed into better human beings through constant effort, love and respect. That is the only way out of all form of violence.